Dear Lara...

You held my hand because I was too scared to cross the road on my own. We were 7. We became instant friends. ‘Sparky’ and ‘Sporty’ – that’s what we got nicknamed!

You were my spark. You taught me how to put my hand out boldly when our teacher (Mrs Singh) whacked us for gossiping and giggling in class. You were right next to me, supporting me and believing in me when I decided I had secret magical powers.

I remember when we dug up all the plants of my mean ground floor neighbor’s garden and then hid under the bed sheets in my room, praying that we would turn invisible, knowing that we would get yelled at. We were so worried because we knew we were wrong and kept hoping that we would b
e cool enough to not care.

You taught me how to ride a horse, knowing full well how petrified I was. I listened to you because I trusted you implicitly. I remember when you got yourself a rabbit and I thought he smelled like poop. I fell in love with him (almost as much as you) eventually, although he continued to smell like poop.

I remember how you did all my art and craft work in school because I was so horrible at it and I will never forget how I got an A+ for what you did and you ended up getting a B.

I remember how we both though it would be so cool to go to the local swimming pool in our sexiest swimsuits although we knew that it was only filled with grandpas and really fat housewives trying to stay above water.

I remember when we went to camp and found ourselves a naughty book; we then spent half the night in candle light going through men in really compromising positions. We giggled and exclaimed all night! We felt like proper adults filled with worldly knowledge.

I remember you teaching me this really cool ball trick and then I showed it off in front of a new set of friends. I’m still embarrassed when I think that the ball went smack into old Mr. Pereira’s derriere instead.

We had an argument once about some ice cream. There were only two cups left – one vanilla and one chocolate. Both of us wanted chocolate. We didn’t speak for two whole days.

I remember how we got caught for stealing candles from Sister Dorothy’s room. We didn’t need the candles. We just did it because we it was forbidden territory. Of course we got caught but this time we were too cool to care and so we stood there giggling. Together, we were untouchable. We were invincible!

I remember I was upset with you because you had your first kiss before mine. We were supposed to date best friends just like us and have our first kiss on the same day.

I remember that we cried and held each other when I had to move out. Best friends forever, we promised each other. Time passed… we lost touch.

I thought of all the times we laughed, cried and giggled together and so I wrote you a letter recapping all our memories, telling you how great my childhood was thanks to you. You never replied!

Today, I got to know that you died. So I went shopping. I don’t know why. I just went…  numbing myself to everything. I got lost in the mundane conversations around me – “Rahul. Don’t touch that” “How do you think this top fits” “I’ll cook chicken for dinner” Such trivial talk. Everything they said was invalid. Did they not know that the world was different now? Everything was a little less bright? That the world had lost its spark?

Back in school, we had a friend who died in a car crash. We took flowers to her funeral and we discussed why God took her away so early. Maybe now she can tell you and one day when I join you maybe you can explain why to me.

Lara, I hope you are happy now just as you are in my memories – giggling, full of life and chasing your dreams. I’ll remember you whenever I see a kid playing with a ball, whenever I eat chocolate ice-cream, whenever I see two little girls laughing together sharing a bond beyond all other.

 

To live in hearts we leave behind

Is not to die

(Thomas Campbell)

You and I

Every now and then, that one person walks into your life and when you look at that person, you never realize what a huge role they may be playing in making you the person you are.

But I knew! I knew the first time we spoke to each other.

Okay! I'm just being dramatic for effect! I didn't know anything. I can't even remember where we met for the first time or how we got talking. But friendships are like that; they work just like attraction. Sometimes you just know and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you can claim a 'forever' and sometimes you just go with the flow.

We went with the flow, You and I. You were the shreiky woman who always wanted to study, I was the loud girl who kept thinking of new ways to avoid education. You were the prim, proper, 'Ive never been kicked out of class' kind, I was the boisterous 'never been in class' kind and its precisely because of these differences that we became the awesome friends that we are today.




 
We've known each other 11 years now. That's over an effing decade. We've known each other through smiles, giggles, pranks, boys, jerks, heartbreaks, late night gossips, insane photo clicking sessions, experimental cooking, baking, studies, trips, adventures, fears, broken relations, shopping, merciless teasing, sleepovers, bitching, dramas, lost phones and so much more...

11 years later, I'm glad we're friends... Best Friends. I'm glad I can count you as one among 'my people'. You're that calming element in my life - the one who doesn't judge, the one who always stands by me, the one who has that amazing ability to understand why I make the decisions I've made. When I'm off making plans to conquer the world, there you are - that person sitting silently in the background - to hear my stories and to support me when I realise that maybe I should've planned it better.

You're the realist in our friendship, the one with the silent dreams and hopes, the one who has immeasurable strength hidden deep inside, the one who is so amazingly innocent at 27!!! (God knows, I can trip on that forever).

I would say stay the same but the whole saintliness gives me a complex so yeah... you know go be your amazing self or whatever :D

Samantha Dsouza, I love you!